茫無頭緒

There are so many deadlines approaching. I don't want to let them fly by, but I don't know what I can do. Maybe it's time to seek some help.

But before that, I need to know what I want. I love to be a researcher, but not an engineer, or a robot. I therefore won't fall in love with materials science. I love naturally occuring phenomena. Life is "THE" fascinating phenomena that I would like to know something about. I would like to see what physicists can do about it. But truly, I don't think they can unless they know enough biological details.

The present dilemma is, should I try to get into a physics group doing biophysics, or should I try to get in a biophysics program where I would be allowed to try some lab rotations first and take some basic courses? The latter is what I want, but at the same time, I think it is too challenging for me. Also, it is very likely that no physics can be applied because biologists and physicists think so differently. I don't want to get assimilated.

If I think about too much this and that, I think in the end, I will end up nowhere. I truly need a break to see what I want to do. Should I try to do these applications one year later?

Actually, I don't think getting in is really so difficult. There are so many offerings throughout the world. The point is, I've got to make sure things will be better than staying in HK. But who can guarantee that?

Tough tough tough. But I think I will do well in an interdisciplinary atmosphere. By doing this, I hope that my curiosity would be allowed to cool down eventually. It is damn uncomfortable when somebody told you just a little bit of what he knew. It left so much wonder in your mind. Being a "8" person, I truly want to act as a detective and bring all the pieces together, and see what the story is all about.

Just try it, okay? If it didn't work out, it is okay, since I have plan II / plan III / plan IV, and so on. Life is not monotonic!! There are infinite possibilities!!