Sometimes, you've got to be patient

I would say, there's growing frustration with myself, as well as the researches in the subject that I still like most. That's just not the way it ought to be. It's almost entirely dependent on funding but not sincere interests, world-wide, with HK's situation possibly pushing to the worst. Academics like this become so inferior that it's next-to-impossible for one to develop any genuine interests. (That is to say, morality declines not only in the business world, but also in academia, whose corruption in turn is due to the corruption of the business world, which never aims to create a world comfortable for everybody to live in. All they aim at is mindless exhaustion of all kinds of resources, including MANPOWER, god-damn-it! are they aware how selfish they are! I despise them!)

One of the "fruit" of my recent quest is, one's not studying for knowledge, but simply internal peace. There's no way to achieve such a state if one's always saying foul languages about what one's doing. The state of mind becomes so turbulent that all one wants is to shout, like I'm doing right now.

May I develop the calmness that I've longed for? 5 months from now, am I going to achieve this, or is it going to take me a full lifetime??!! If not for the 5-month studentship that I'll need for next year, there's really nothing so "important" concerning the MPhil degree, that I would quit without a second of thought. What's the use of a degree that one doesn't enjoy a bit after all??!!