Tons of questions

Why am I so interested in the old days?? Am I born a historian or what??

Through the years, I come to a conclusion that I want no parts of anything trendy. And the feeling seems to grow with years. It's like, there're no more meaningful things than to dig into the past, when educated people were still taught to think big and lived with courage and never surrender. A "realistic-in-every-way" world is simply hard to bear.

But, ironically, the past makes the damn present. What's the missing link?? How can things get so good on surface but that bad in essence?? And how could things be so bad long long ago but yet people could live with so much PRIDE and "infallible prejudice" which come to be known as FAITH??!! And that's exactly why they were so admirable compared to the so-called "successful people" found on the earth nowadays..

I wonder what the world will look like 100 years later.. If I were to live this long, how am I to bear with it??

I really need more schooling.. I just couldn't get to work with such a turbulent state of mind.. I guess, I am all too late to start my own gen ed.. It's certainly the fault of HKED..